If you drink, you need to factor two expenses: alcohol AND CABS

By  | March 13, 2015 |  Comments | Filed under: News Commentary

I’m sure you heard about the secret service agents who got drunk and crashed the White House barricades recently. Are there really people out there not getting this: DON’T OPERATE A CAR IF YOU ARE DRUNK.

It’s not okay because you won a gold medal. It’s not okay because you’re a senator. It’s not okay just because you traveled back in time to try to save Oceanic flight 815. It is not okay to drink and drive and run the likelihood of taking someone’s life. Period. Why are these secret service agents getting special treatment?

Look, I “get” addiction. I get drinking. I get that some people have addiction issues that are beyond their control and their brains are wired a certain way and they have a disease and blah blah. They can think of nothing but alcohol! So powerless! Okay, but why don’t they at least leave their keys at home and find alternate ways of transportation?

We all have problems, but the least we can do is not harm other people. You don’t get to go around spraying your nightmare on everyone.

What, like you don’t know you’re going to get that drunk? Like it’s a surprise? Like you don’t do that literally every time you go somewhere? Hire a driver, find a bus, learn to walk, hitchhike, stow away, call a friend, call the cops on yourself or get a damn cab.

You anticipated your need for your wallet before you left. You remembered to put on a shirt before you went to the bar. Why can’t you get it together and arrange a ride or stay the fuck home?  You’re not a savage who gravitates to the bar like a moth. It’s the height of irresponsibility and disregard for other human beings to not make a plan for transport that doesn’t involve driving.

(Wait – perfect argument for an American train system or thee perfect argument for an American train system?)

Maybe you’re just out having fun once in while. Maybe you can stop drinking. Maybe you can’t. Maybe you’ll deal with it another time when you have less stress going on or maybe you only get really carried away on special occasions. Who cares! Not my business! Drink your face off! But guess what? If you drink, you need to factor two expenses into your life: alcohol AND CABS.

I’m just sick of reading about innocent people getting killed or hurt because some jackass thought he was entitled to operate a death weapon after drinking.

Drink all you want, people. I’m not trying to ruin your day. We all drink. Let’s just get over it and make better decisions while doing so – and force drunks to face the consequences no matter who they are.

Get a cab, even if you’re secret service.

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