The rise of the uncouch

By  | April 22, 2015 |  Comments | Filed under: Glitter & Fashion

My friend came over a few weeks ago and used her prowess of slash-and-burn organizing to get my playroom in tip top shape.  I’m naturally a pig, so I’ll never understand people who love to clean, but hey, she went wild in there. My family room couch had been relocated to the kids area by the time she was done. The plan was to then move the regular couch in from the garage and go back to normal life. Instead, I looked around the empty family room and it was the dawn of an era. The uncouch.


This was a smoking crater until two Sundays ago. Thanks Stace!


I’ve had it with couches. Done. Couch fatigue. One look at the big ugly brown hunk of furniture waiting in the garage and a glance back at my clean, empty space and it was like, nope.

I mean, now I have a play room with a couch and another have a living room with two couches. Why do I need yet another freaking room with a couch in it? How many couches do we need around here? Our only activity is sitting? Let’s look alive, people.

Step one was confirming with my friend that if I got rid of the furniture, she’d still come over. I just wanted to clarify that she’d still be my friend if we didn’t have a place to sit. It was a concern. She said no, that it was exciting I wanted to live this couch-free life and we’d just order hummus and sit on the floor or something. Plan!

My next move was to find floor cushions. I ended up picking an Etsy vendor in Jaipur, RangilaRajasthan, and custom ordering a set of four floor pillows. Normally she makes them 24″ x 24″ but we’re fat Americans, so I upgraded us to 30″ x 30″. Was this the cheapest thing in the world? No. I think it ran me around $500 with shipping, but if you think of this as a couch and not a set of pillows, you can see the value. Right? I’m glad I do the bills around here.

Next, the waiting. I bought smaller floor cushions from Ross just to practice getting into my zen place. (I forgot about Ross! One of my internet homies pointed me there and she was spot-on. Floor pillows are only $20. Booms.)

Finally, last night, THE UNCOUCH ARRIVED. They were vacuum-sealed within an inch of destruction. They were like giant, brick-hard crackers. Hot damn if they didn’t fluff up overnight!

By the way, I found out I’m not alone in my couch fatigue. If it interests you, here is a lady who has whole-house-furniture fatigue and swears having no soft place to sit or sleep helps keep her skinny or something. It’s a whole science.

Tada! I present: our new family room arrangement . . .

Screen Shot 2015-05-11 at 8.22.11 AM

First, the filter-y glamour shot. Fancie.




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