Every defense of Josh Duggar, debunked

By  | May 25, 2015 |  Comments | Filed under: News Commentary, On Men

The Josh Duggar incest molestation scandal is the height of the American hypocrisy, isn’t it? Rich, white, conservative male shielded from legal consequences of his actions and afforded prime real estate in the social landscape of America while a black kid can’t wear a hoodie in a good neighborhood without asking to die. Let’s examine the defenses Duggar supporters are using, shall we? Why was there no justice?

Defense: This is just outrage porn. Next week, we’ll be on to something else.

Debunking: NOPE! Unlike manufactured, overblown nontroversies, such as when that sports reporter had her side of a rude conversation with a parking attendant strewn all over social media (and was subsequently fired), this involves an actual crime, five victims, a decade-long cover-up and political hypocrisy by intolerant hate-group activists who used the scare tactic of “they will molest children” to influence policy against gay and trans people when they themselves molest kids or cover up the molesting. We’ll be talking about this, oh, forever. Or until everyone has the same rights and social ranking as rich, white, conservative males who get away with any damn thing they want. (LOLZ, let’s stick with “forever” because that will come sooner.)

Defense: His wife and Jesus forgave him already. It’s all good.

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Debunking: Cool. Hey, let’s open up this type of justice to everyone sitting in a prison cell right now. “Hi, are you sorry? Do your religious beliefs conveniently make it so that you are no longer subject to the same laws and punishments as everyone else? Does your spouse say she’s fine with it, even though she a) is bound by her religion to be subservient to you and b) was handsomely rewarded with fame and a stake in your family’s 3.5 million dollar fortune when she married you? HERE’S YOUR WALLET AND STREET CLOTHES BACK.”

Also, if a person is really sorry for committing incest, do they make incest jokes on TV by day as they are committing it at night? (Awkward.)

Defense: We all do silly things in our youth. 

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Debunking: Yes we do zany things when we are young! We sneak into R-rated movies and wear super ugly hairstyles. Remember Manic Panic in the 90’s? Green hair! Imagine! *chortle* We do not routinely molest our non-consenting siblings and then have our crimes covered up by our conservative activist parents who also make a living off our perfect-seeming home AND who make robo-calls that fear monger about transgender people molesting children.

Okay, okay. Some of us do commit actual crimes in our youth. I’ll turn my chair backwards for some real talk. Once, when I was 15, I went to a grocery store with my friends. I held a pack of cigarettes up to a security camera, then very stupidly waltzed out the door in a clown-like manner. I still don’t know why I did that. Attention? Anyway, obviously the grocery store caught me and called my parents to pick me up, who then drove me home, yelled at me, decided that wasn’t good enough and then drove me to the police station to explain what I had done. The cops were confused, but fingerprinted me anyway at my mom’s request –  so that I would take crime seriously in the future. Now might be a good time to mention that I am not a political activist seeking to strip cigarette thieves of the right to use the bathroom.

Defense: This is the media’s fault. Also, people are only attacking the Duggars because they are Christian.

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Debunking: 1. The people who created this mess are the Duggars themselves. Stop buck-passing. They chose to be on their show, to put their kids in the spotlight and to be politically active while knowingly covering up molestation in their own house. They knew they were hypocrites and yet continued to make noise about other people potentially molesting kids. Wait. Is this like The Only Moral Abortion Is My Abortion? And 2. Guess who else is a Christian? Joel Osteen. I love that guy! I listen to him in my car sometimes and I’m not even religious. Stop blaming other people for your problems, Christians. Duggars. Everyone.

Defense: Hey, we’d all molest kids if we could. Josh just did what any of us would if given the chance. HIS LIFE IS FULL OF DREAMS. (Penned by Jessa Duggar’s father-in-law)

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Debunking: Gross.

Defense: The people bringing it up are the problem.

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Debunking: I think what you meant to say is it’s sad Josh Duggar molested five young victims in a house with a warped sense of ethics and accountability? And it’s sad that his parents failed to protect their daughters from a molester in their own home? And it’s sad that Christians feel the need to defend them when it’s not about Christians at all, rather about the Duggars, specifically, and their narrow perversion of Christianity in general? FTFY.

Defense: Hey, this is our guy. He looks like us. Go easy on him!

Debunking: Wow, what honesty! Actually, no one has outright used that defense, but we can read between the lines. I wonder how every mother of a black son in America felt when the George Zimmerman verdict was read? Trayvon Martin was their guy, the one who looked like their son and who didn’t commit a crime, nor deserved to die and yet this justice system let his killer off the hook. Could we really expect it to bring a rich, white, famous conservative man to justice for a crime whose statute of limitations has conveniently run out? Har.


Defense: Yeah, Josh wasn’t right, but it’s the liberal media victimizing the girls now.

Debunking: Touchè; This media circus is probably not pleasant for the Duggar girls. Seeing your family raked through the coals and called monsters isn’t fun and child abuse does bring about complicated feelings. However, the only way to vindicate these girls (in lieu of jail for Josh, now that the statue of limitations has run out, and a major probe into his parents) is to use this case to shine a light on sexual abuse. This example needs to show other families – the ones they influence with their cultural impact – that covering up a crime and committing it in the first place will not be tolerated. The only positive outcome of all of this could be that the Duggar legacy is a warning to other families about how not to handle a sexual offender in your home.

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“Damn, that harlot makes some points.”

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