The house you helped remodel Part 2: The truth about my Mexican tiled stairs [PICS]

By  | September 18, 2015 |  Comments | Filed under: Design

Today! I have been waiting for TODAY for like, well a few weeks, but it seemed like a really long time. The grand event is my wooden banister arriving. Maybe you wait for births and for the magical first day of school when you get to ditch your kid for 8 hours, but I wait for carpenters to refinish my wood. TODAY IS GLORIOUS.

As you may recall, in May we basically bought a Clampett Mansion in severe need of cosmetic rehab. No seriously, if I would have thought of it sooner, I would have been Granny Clampett and posed right here for our Christmas card:

Screen Shot 2015-09-17 at 4.46.40 PM

The big selling point for me on this house is that banister. I want to marry it. (Brother husbands!) I mean, all I had to do was scuff it up and smear some darker stain on it, right? No big. Can totally do. Except we found out the day we moved in to this house that the code violation we had ignored in the inspection regarding the spacing of the stair balusters (the rods that go up and down) is actually kind of a BFD. Our first morning here, our toddler ran right for them and immediately tried to squeeze her head through. She got about halfway to her death when I yelled, “THE STAIRS ARE COMING OUT!”

So, we called our guy who called a sub-guy and voile, four months and $5,000 later, I have iron balusters which are the correct width to keep my child from tumbling to her demise.

It still left the problem of the beautiful wood banister, that is my soulmate. It turns out there were problems which are too boring to get into (the angles! something about the curve! or the new code-correct height or whatever?) but it all worked out in the end. They stained it up for me and placed it gently atop the new iron.

During all of this, I took a U-turn and started really getting into Mexican stuff this summer. Don’t ask. I went off the deep end with it and tiled the place up like a royal casasita. I hope that’s a word. But seriously, my poor kids had tacos every night when they weren’t having burritos and I even signed up for an online Babble class to learn Spanglish. If this construction went on any longer what with these caliente Mexican boys flexing their arms all day, I’d be in a sombrero and changing my name to Guadalupe. So yeah, now my stairs have Mexican tiles and I used cobalt blue in every room. Hi, I’m impulsive and suggestible! Good thing I love it.

Thank you to my people of Facebook who voted on the various tile configuration. I think we nailed it.

There is still have a long way to go around here. I changed my mind on the wallpaper in the entry (more blue!), so that project got delayed, not to mention we have a kitchen and five ugly bathrooms from 1994 to deal with as time and finances allow. Think of me when you see clouds in the sky that look like dollar bills. Bye, money.

We can stop pretending you’re reading this right now and didn’t just skip right to the pictures. Here they are! My stairs!


The ceiling used to bug me, but now I kinda like it.


Come on over. I know you want to sashay down these stairs. I won’t make you feel stupid because I do it too.


Oops – I forgot to talk about the floors! I know I gushed all over my contractors in my last post, but it’s worth repeating, Savon Carpet is awesome! Did I tell you the way I found them was by asking Siri? True story, bro. Anyway, on the ground floor we went with porcelain wood look tile. Now I never have to worry about people and their pointy heels or chlorine from the pool getting dragged in. You just want to live in your house, you know? Not worry every second about the furniture covering the bottom wall. (The bottom wall! Come on, people call the ceiling the 5th wall. I’m just one-upping them.)


One thing though, I mop all day long. Black floors. Beautiful nightmares. Texas tea. What? Anyway, I need a Roomba version of a mop.


Those aren’t stars, they are suns. Or they’re stars?


Wandering stars? Shout to Portishead.



I used to think my Disney princess was Jasmine. Why isn’t there a Mexican Disney princess? I’m making some status updates ASAP! #internetjusticewarrior


I’m not really feeling that oval rug, but the one I got to replace it smelled so bad I had to send it back. Seriously, Overstock, maybe Febreeze your warehouse?



Notice I haven’t fully committed to that painting as evidenced that it’s balanced on top of a ruler. PS- Wouldn’t it be hilarious if those words were actually painted on the wall, like an inspirational quote?


Banksy is similarly leaned in a “is this nail-worthy?” fashion.


My Etsy shop where I peddle my black & white paintings has earned me negative $7. I am a raging success.


Would burning that rug be a crime? Like, could they arrest me, since this is the city?


My proudest craiglist hack! Restoration Hardward sells a table exactly like this for $4,000, but I found a carpenter (a lady carpenter! Go ladies!) who built this 10-foot table for me for $700. Wait. I might have already told you that story. Am I getting old? Where did I put my teeth?


This is the stairs landing. I went though a bit of a manic phase this summer and whipped up all those 6-foot canvases in about two days.


My friends keep making fun of me because I signed them like real paintings. I mean, they were painted with paint and brushes and everything. Hey, Pavarotti used to sell insurance.

See Part 1 of this remodel and all before pictures here.

Want more? Subscribe! Join over 700 people who are too lazy to remember to find this page again and subscribe to this blog. No spam, opt-out whenever. Look for me in your junk folder every week or so:

Email Subscriber

Still miss me?

Allow me to mildly entertain you on The High Gloss & Sauce Facebook page I’ll tweet when I’m in the mood @HighGlossSauce

Agree? Or punch me in the face?