Dolce and Gabbana don’t like your IVF baby

By  | March 16, 2015 |  Comments | Filed under: News Commentary

Dolce and Gabbana told the world what they think about that baby you conceived using in vitro fertilization. The designers spoke out against IVF babies, for some reason, calling them “chemical offspring” during an interview in which they renounced gay parents for using “rented uteruses”. The gay fashion designers, who presumably speak in unison like the creepy twins from The Shining, said something about the “flow of nature” being interrupted when gay parents adopt or create families through in vitro and surrogates.

“We oppose gay adoptions. The only family is the traditional one. […] No chemical offsprings and rented uterus: life has a natural flow, there are things that should not be changed.” – Dolce and Gabbana

So, is that traditional in the biblical sense? If so, a traditional family would be like eight women, a 700-year-old man and some goats. If we’re talking glamorized 1950’s America “traditional” parents, then Dolce and Gabbana mean a pin-curled housewife and a cardboard cutout with a clean shave. They are going to have to be more clear with their narrow bigotry.

I’m also confused where they think they are going to get support for this “traditional” families bit. It’s not like the Christian right is going to swoop in and cradle them like lambs. They are two old gay dudes.

Let’s talk more about this “natural flow” nonsense. You know what is not natural in the least? Five inch heels.

Elton John called Dolce and Gabbana out on Instagram with, “How dare you refer to my beautiful children as ‘synthetic,’. And shame on you for wagging your judgemental little fingers at IVF–a miracle that has allowed legions of loving people, both straight and gay, to fulfill their dream of having children. Your archaic thinking is out of step with the times, just like your fashions. I shall never wear Dolce and Gabbana ever again. #BoycottDolceGabbana”

Then Dolce and Gabbana pulled a super mature move and fired back, “BoycottEltonJohn”. Ok.

I’m team Elton. I will boycott Dolce and Gabbana by continuing to be too fat for their pants.

Screen Shot 2015-03-15 at 7.45.06 PM

They do know what the purpose of a shoe is, right?

 

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