So I got a tummy tuck, did not (quite) die

July 9, 2015

A friend thought I was sick. Acquaintances have expressed their worry and a few with balls have outright asked me if I got a tummy tuck. I got a tummy tuck. You’re curious and maybe considering it for yourself, so I’ll recap. You go in for a consultation. You think, “hey, I’m not that bad. […]

Rachel Dolezal: Personal identity is only a “problem” when you’re a minority

June 13, 2015
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The NAACP social justice activist who is really a white woman with an awesome perm has riled the interwebz today. We’re of course talking about Rachel Dolezal. I do have some questions of my own. Like, why do we accept the self-indentification of a rich, white conservative who started life as a man and yet we […]

The questions I’d Like Megyn Kelly to ask the Duggars (& the HONEST answers we’d never get)

June 1, 2015
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I know people like me are supposed to be so “gleeful” about taking down the Duggars, but I’m really quite over them. Wait. What’s that? Fox News (who else) is airing an interview between Megyn Kelly and the Duggar parents on Wednesday at 9pm ET? They’re back in our faces? Because they care more about money […]

Help me remodel this house #ToTheEdge [14 BEFORE PICS]

May 30, 2015

We finally got keys yesterday! You may recall my family of five moved across the country to L.A. from Chicago about five months ago. It meant renting at first and I lamented, loudly, with tears like a toddler, having to pay someone else’s mortgage. I got over it. It turned out I really liked our […]

Every defense of Josh Duggar, debunked

May 25, 2015
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The Josh Duggar incest molestation scandal is the height of the American hypocrisy, isn’t it? Rich, white, conservative male shielded from legal consequences of his actions and afforded prime real estate in the social landscape of America while a black kid can’t wear a hoodie in a good neighborhood without asking to die. Let’s examine […]

How craigslist graffiti artists are making my (new!) house a home

May 20, 2015
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Fun news! In a turn of events too odd and yet too banal to describe, we are getting out of our lease and into a house we’re buying. Bye, other people’s mortgages! Anyway, we happen to be buying said house from a set of tiny people with giant hearts. They built the place half a […]

Catch Up On Everyone’s Favorite Posts!

Sorry, Anne Lamott, you are wrong about Mother’s Day

May 9, 2015
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Anne Lamott can stop. She wrote a big old diatribe about Mother’s Day yesterday with two basic points: motherhood isn’t special and we should include all women on this day. Normally the more inclusive route is the high road, but let’s take a closer look. “Mother’s Day celebrates a huge lie about the value of […]

It’s really hard to move to L.A. and not become a stalker

May 4, 2015
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___ Hi, I’m creepy. I did a thing today that if someone did it to me, I’d move. When you live in Illinois and watch a show or hear some new music, you might pop on over to the ole interwebz and look up some facts. If I wanted to see any stars in person, […]

The rise of the uncouch

April 22, 2015

My friend came over a few weeks ago and used her prowess of slash-and-burn organizing to get my playroom in tip top shape.  I’m naturally a pig, so I’ll never understand people who love to clean, but hey, she went wild in there. My family room couch had been relocated to the kids area by the […]

In defense of Britt McHenry (no seriously)

April 18, 2015
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As you’ve heard, previously vaguely-known/now-internet-famous ESPN reporter Britt McHenry is the latest anti-darling of America’s collective rage after video surfaced of her being a huge twat to a tow lot employee. She’s pretty. She’s blonde. She was a total asshole. And true to script, she’s now apologizing in the midst of public shame as she […]

Why people clutch pearls – a guide

April 14, 2015
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You know that phrase “pearl-clutching” when old biddies get in a twist over kids doing MyFace or something? I never thought about why a person in the middle of a crisis or moment of worry would grab their pearls. Now that I’m obsessed with pearls myself, I get it. It’s because pearls are comforting. They’re […]

Don’t you dare glitter

April 7, 2015

  You always know those kids growing up who are amazing at the piano or ice skating and they tell you they’ve been taking lessons since they were two. You file it in the back of your mind that when you grow up, you want to be that mom. I wanted to be that mom. I […]


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